i woke up, and i was unable to erase

there was an owl in the house. calm, like owls look. i was standing in the bathroom and it took a moment to address me, then flew softly to a perch in the hallway. when i was outside with everyone, it was light and dark blue - just past dusk, and i told them about the owl. they were excited.
i'm passing out jellybeans. we're five of us or so on a motor boat. i have black licorice and a couple dark blueberry. my friend is explaining was is going to happen to the thin, leathery, middle aged man dressed in a brown suit standing at the bow. seizures, and the machine will not operate properly, and his face will explode under the skin. it's happening now. his body is contorted, muscles are pulling in wrong directions. his head is pulled back and his face is stretched, mouth agape. the machine is noticeable from his open fly, a metal box with small red and green lights. it is not properly operating. the pain is severe, so severe that while his next move is quite difficult in this state, he must do it. he swings himself over the bow pulpit and hangs above the water, which is far below. "i need to drown" he says. then drops.
i am his body now. the only thought is to die quickly. my force of will shuttles me down down down away from light and bubbles. i go, knowing that when it seems like i've stopped, it will really just be the weight of all that water creating a crushing pressure, and i will have imploded